Unexpected Start

At 5 am this morning my phone rang. It was a machine from the airline telling me my first flight had been cancelled. As I only had a few hours of sleep last night, I was not very coherent on what to do. Basically, I had to get down to the airport as soon as possible to figure out what was going to happen. My faithful mother went with me, and by God's grace, everything was figured out. I now actually only have two flights instead of three, and I have a little more time in between flights (I originally only had 45 min. in Miami!). God knows best, and I'm praying that maybe there is a specific person I am suppose to talk to through all these travels. Please pray that I simply rest in my Father today- I will write again when I'm in Ecuador!!

Breath Before the Jump

You know when you are on a roller coaster and your climbing the first major hill? Your anticipation grows-there's excitement and fear rushing through you all at the same time. That's the best way I can explain the last couple of days. I have the moments when I can't wait to see my family in Ecuador again. Then I have the moments where I struggle because I question why I'm going off by myself. Many people go on mission's trips in groups, which I love. I think it's wonderful to be able to travel and serve with a group of believers. However, I am beginning the journey of my second solo mission's trip-that's hard for me. I definitely have moments that I wish my sister or a good friend or even a group was going with me. God is still sovereign, and He has a good and loving reason things have worked out this way. To be completely honest, I've struggled the last few days, really had to wrestle and pray through things because I feel like my perspective will sway so easily. Though I know this what God wants me to do, sometimes right before following in a specific way, hardships get thrown at you. No monumental trial has occurred, but continual battle is needed against this legalist mentality inside of me that places far to much weight on my actions. I think things like I didn't say the right thing to encourage that friend, I made things worse by doing/not doing this, God's frustrated because I didn't wait on Him like I should have, God's disappointed because I cannot joyfully wait in the midst of the unknown, things are going to go wrong now because I wasn't as faithful as I should have been....I could go on. I place too much on my own actions- in short, I am being self-focused. That shouldn't shock me , but my pride lets it. As I wrestled through all these things in my head, I spent some time just walking and praying and listening to podcasts. One of the speakers reminded me that to get better the solution is not to focus on what I need to do or not do, but I need to be reminded and be in awe of the Gospel again and again. God's the One who is going to produce change, and when I am constantly looking to Him, He will compose the change needed. I think I tend to equate struggling with failure or even sin, but that's not true. Struggle is not sin; it's what I do with the struggle that leads to sin or back to Christ. In the last couple of weeks, I have had a lot of "messy" prayers, times where I just feel utterly messed up-but through those prayers God reminds me of His steadfast love.

All of that to say, I think God is trying to prepare me for something in these next five weeks. I don't expect it will be easy, but I do know that He promises to always be with me. If noting else, these last few days God has increased my need and desire to come to Him with absolutely EVERYTHING. I am not getting it allright, but God is helping me know Him better. So that's where I am at tonight, two days before my trip. Im taking the breathe before the descent, and I'll let you know what God does through the ride.

Before I was afflicted I went astray,but now I keep Your word.You are good,and You do what is good;teach me Your statutes. ~Psalm 119~

Prueba Dos

Today was the day for me to take my second Spanish test. I spend a lot of time yesterday and today studying what I could, but there always seems to be an exorbitant amount of information to master;I knew if I passed, it would be a blessing from God. And lo and behold, I passed! Praise God! I have now tested out of two years of Spanish. I still have two more tests to take. The information gets increasingly harder. Hopefully spending five weeks in Ecuador will help :) Thank you to those who prayed for me today; I sincerely appreciate it. I leave a week from tomorrow!! Pretty crazy. I am excited and nervous-pretty typical I suppose. I will write again soon. Gracias otra ves por tus oraciones :)

Delay

As I was preparing for my test yesterday morning, I found out that my test would have to wait until next week. The lady I work with on all of this was a little overwhelmed with some other things, so I guess the Lord thought I needed a little more time to study. I will take the test Tuesday afternoon. For now I am at my sister's house enjoying some time with two of my nephews. Thanks to those of you who prayed. I'll keep ya posted.

Prayer Request

Hey there- I am not sure how many of you read this (which is fine, writing has always been something I simply enjoy doing), but if you do read this before tomorrow afternoon, maybe you could pray for me. I am going to take my second Spanish test; I have been studying for these tests independently-that's the part that makes me nervous. I also have been a little overwhelmed with the thought of being a jr. high teacher next year as the teacher-in-services have been going on at school. To add to that, I am leaving in two weeks for Ecuador. However, God is faithful, and I have to remember to take life one day at a time. I would however appreciate your prayers as I try to follow what God has given me to do. Thanks!

Life After College Continues

I originally planned on doing a blog for the sole purpose of my trip to Spain, but as it turns out, I am not done traveling yet-probably won't be for quite a while! That being the case, I thought I would update all of you to what God has been doing in my life, and what He has for me this summer.

I praise God for His faithfulness; I did indeed have the privilege of having a teaching job right out of college. However, at first I thought that I would just be subbing. A week before school started, I received a call from a local christian school to be an assistant teacher in the 4th grade. I was thrilled! The grade was younger than I was planning on, but the year has been wonderful. I love my fourth grade class- all 28 of them! I even had the blessing of having my own classroom (we split up the class at certain points of the day) and working and learning from a great teacher. These kids have been such a challenge and encouragement to me this year. Teaching definitely has its challenges, and I have spent many days in prayer asking the Lord for wisdom. I still feel like I have so much to learn about being a teacher. Through it all, the Lord has provided and been kind to teach me through my mistakes too.

One thing I started doing with my class just for fun was teach them Spanish words. The kids absolutely loved it! Every week I would try and teach them new words. As I began to do this, the Spirit began to stir some thoughts in me about Spanish. Why don't I try to teach Spanish? As silly as it sounds, the thought had never really occurred to me. The more I thought and prayed about it, and the more I started to ask advice of those around me, God seemed to be opening the doors for me to work on my Spanish endorsement. That is currently my new goal as an educator, to get my Spanish endorsement for K-12.

As soon as I told my dad about this, he came up with the idea that I should return to Ecuador for the summer to improve my Spanish ( a definite need of mine). Any of you who know my dad will not be surprised by that fact at all. I was a little hesitant at first because I already had some options I was thinking through for the summer, but God again directed, closed some doors, and showed me that Ecuador is where He wants me this summer. That is where my next adventure will take place! June 15-July 20 I will be in the city of Quito, Ecuador.

Quito is not the city I grew up in, but I have some good family friends who have been kind enough to let me live with them for the five weeks. In fact, they are basically planning my whole time down there-all on their own initiative I might add! I will be helping at a school one week, a children's camp for two weeks, and spending time with friends for the other two.

I am looking forward to it, but a little nervous at the same time. This is a wonderful opportunity, but I must admit that I am not as adventurous as I thought I was. What I mean to say is that I kind of struggle going out to do this things on my own...but I know this is what God wants me to do, and He gives such peace. I am truly excited too! Ecuador is my second home; I leave in 24 days :) I would greatly appreciate your prayers, that I would have a soft heart to what my Father wants to teach me. I am not sure exactly where God is leading in this life He has given me, but I love walking with Him. He's got it all planned out.

Closing Comments

Nice picture huh?:) Well it's official, I am a college graduate. It's kind of hard to believe! I had the privilege of graduating with my mom (she got her MA in the seminary) on Friday. It's been great to be home and spend some time with family and friends. And I especially enjoyed going home to church.

It's hard to sum up what God taught me in the past two months, but one of the greatest things was His sufficiency. This was a great ministry opportunity, but the first part was challenging in a way that I have never experienced before. I didn't know anyone or how the school worked, and the culture was different too. But God was so faithful in EVERY way. He showed me that no matter where I am or what I am doing, He will provide all that is needed. My walk with Him was so close, in a way I have not experienced before.I could share so many other things, but that would take quite a while :)

Many people have been asking, "Well, what's next?" Well.....that is a good question. While I was in Spain, I prayed through some different options. English teachers are definitely in need overseas, including the school in Spain. I prayed and openly asked the Lord if He wanted me to come back to the little and beautiful town of Camarma. But as I continued to pray, the Lord continued to burden my heart for home. I don't just mean being with my family, but being involved at my church. And not only that, God also increased my desire for grad school. I know, I just finished college, but I really think grad school is something that would be beneficial. While I was in Spain, I was able to teach an AP Honors class. I absolutely loved that class, but it definitely opened my eyes to how much I don't know about my area of study. I talked about all of this with Merry and other teachers, and many of them said it would be a good idea to go to grad school. And that is the direction I am heading. But beyond that, I don't really know specifics. Im looking to stay in the area. It might be too late for me to start in August, which would be ok. I wouldn't mind starting in August, but having a little more time would allow me to work and save up to pay for grad school. Im trying to take things a day at a time and trust that the Lord will show me the rest of the way. I would really appreciate your prayers, for school, and for a job this summer. I cannot thank you enough for praying for me and the ministry God has given me the last few months. I wish there was some way I could repay you all, but know that I am thankful for you .If I can ever return the favor and pray for you, please please let me know.